After 5 months of contemplating, well I decided to come back to blog. This was most certainly inspired by a feeling that I have not felt for months, a feeling of satisfaction and pure acknowledgement that I have not been living in a world of my own? Or should I say a world of my own beliefs only?
Well, I guessed that everyone expected my 100th post to be really extravagant, but wouldn't that be too superficial for Jon Teo? When it comes to expressing yourself, it will always be quality and not quantity, and that's what I feel about everything and I seriously mean everything including relationships.
Just had a very interesting conversation with PPPPPP, that it really came to my mind that this is what exactly I am looking for. It's really hard to find inner happiness nowadays, with everything being so superficial, which kind of make things really meaningless. I really miss the times when me and my friends could just sit down and have a heart-felt conversation, those times just slipped by me without my notice. And well, I really missed it.
When Por Yee asked me earlier who is my close friend now, I was stumped by this particular question immediately. If anyone asked this question a year earlier or a few years back, I could give an answer immediately. But as time goes on, it seems that I could never find a secure answer for this question which was something really weird for myself. Have I been living in a world of delusion all this while or have circumstances just changed so much that I cannot help finding myself lost in my own pace.
You live a lifetime, be it 60, 70 or 80 years, but do you really want to spend your entire life working hard and stressing yourself out, even if it entails sacrificing other more important things? Wouldn't it be better if we could just find a balance in all things? After all, what is life if we don't even learn how to appreciate it.
It is quite scary to see how life can end so abruptly, and yet we are not making a change in our lives. So when is that change going to come? When we are going to leave this world? When we feel that the time is finally here? Or when we have finally realised what kind of a person we have evolved into? Not to say that it is always negative, but hasn't that always been the case?
Really love to be simple, but wasn't everyone once simple? But the case now seems to be that being simple is equivalent to being naive, and being naive is one quality that seems to be condemned, especially when matters start to become complicated. Have we been so caught up in current matters that we are blinded from the truth behind all these? The truth that things can actually be so simple but yet complicating matters just seems to derive more.
How I wish I could just look at things simply, but some things are just meant not to be simple. I just need to understand what I want more clearly and to stick to my beliefs no matter how the external environment could influence me. But doesn't beliefs always seem to meet much conflicts and it seems just too idealistic to stick to them no matter how tough the going gets.
But well, it would still be possible to achieve a balance between beliefs and being practical. But I just don't feel good doing so. Maybe I'm just not realistic enough to understand that this is the only choice out.
Fortunately, being optimistic represents being able to view the positive side of life. And by being optimistic, it seems that despite all the problems that are going on, there is still hope. And well, it is always this hope that I'm looking forward to and when it finally arrives, everything seems to be worth it suddenly and that... is what I love about life. :)
End of 100th post! :)
