Saturday, December 27, 2014

Can't believe I'm posting here

More than a year since I posted here! If not for Givon complaining about my blog not being updated, I would have forgotten that this blog existed!!!

So I've been watching The Closer, haha old show but damn awesome!

And I just felt like posting this speech! Enjoy!

Brenda: I know. It's a gray area. I remember once hearing a speech about what it meant to be on officer of the CIA, and the man who gave this speech talked about the struggle to control civilization and how we're always fighting the same fight and he used the dark ages as an example. 

And he talked about how on one side you had the pragmatic king who was greedy and power hungry and basically took advantage of people whenever he could. And on the other side you had the idealistic church, forcing everyone to follow the same rules, have the same beliefs and all that. Neither the king or the church was ever completely right or wrong, both sides ended up doing terrible things to get what they wanted. Really terrible things. 

But the point of the story was this: that this struggle from the Dark Ages had been going on forever, and the church and the king might take on different forms and philosophies, but they would always fight each other, pragmatist and idealist, and that most times you're better off standing on the sidelines and letting them duke it out. But every once in a while one side or the other decides it might be better to just blow up the whole world just to get its own way, and when that happens you can't stand on the sidelines anymore. You have to pick a team. And so for tonight, anyway, we're serving the king.

Nice right! Haha it seems to make so much sense after taking modules like Southeast Asia and learning about politics! Although I hated that damn mod!

But honestly, watching the world news daily... Dunno when will the BOOOOM, blow up whole world suddenly come, well still gotta be optimistic!

Dunno which manga/drama always say this one, at least you still alive la HAHA! (I think all of them repeat this theme one la LOL)

Ah well, 2014 is coming to an end and I doubt I will be so free when school starts to post here again! So let's summarize, 2013-2014 was awesome! Met more new friends, learned alot more (Including ballroom dancing!), and slacked alot more!

Haha although I don't want to emphasize CAP is forever, since we should all enjoy life more, but at least I got study hard for exams la (AND EVERYONE SHOULD! DON'T WASTE UNI FEES)! (Watching two seasons of Sword Art Online two days before exams might not be a good idea though!)


This song is like kns good! But watch the show to get the context though!

OOO which reminds me, so proud to get A- for Clinical Psychology! (One step closer!) AND I DID IT WHILE WRITING KANASAI IN MY EXAM PAPER!

Too bad the stress got to me while I'm chionging my essay, and they specifically asked for Singapore context, so kanasai was actually rather relevant!

What else... Hmmm damn hard to remember what happened over the year... Like all play play play study work study slack.

Aiya who cares! Still alive good enough la, must focus on the present! I just learned how to operate my vacuum cleaner! LOLLLL!

Damn cool sia you press the handle, then the cord will actually roll back in, I didn't know that la I was trying to pull the cord in (Damn loser!)! Had to read the instruction manual!

I should end off with a youtube song before saying be optimistic... Hmmmm...




Saturday, May 25, 2013

Exams over! Holidays start! Lazy to blog!

Okay, I'm too lazy to blog! So I'm just gonna say this! Exams over! Woooo!

Holidays filled with internship and CCA commitments!

Playing all day!

Super busy with life since I'm working from home, but just gotta cope!

Had a bintan trip! Shall update more next time on that HAHA!




P.S. Came to the realization that I really hate committing to stuff and losing my freedom, I can't even play a game continuously for too long since it feels like commitment HAHA! (Changing games every few hours!)

Monday, March 25, 2013

Rush rush rush, There is more to life than happiness?

Okay, I've been so intending to blog since a few days ago, but have been kept busy by outings, gatherings, 7 episodes of Supernatural, and just a teeny weeny bit of studying! (Haha I watched one webcast for 45 minutes over the entire weekend, not bad already can! Although the lecture today repeated everything I thought I missed! -.-|||)

And so, without realizing it... it's week 10!!! Oh gosh, the rush and horrors of a university college life! And without realizing, have to start absorbing and memorizing and understand the entire textbook! =P Kind of a fun challenge though!

Arrgh, I really should blog frequently since now I can't remember what happened!!! Okay shall refer to my tweets!

Lol just imported my photos from phone, and so many of them are 4pics1word! HAHA! Either screenshot to send or to cheat! =P

Okay quite update to self:

Candice visited me at PGP randomly since she drove by coincidentally and we started discussing about PPPPPP overseas trip!

Really hope it will come true although we are taking so long to plan and organize! Not to bitch or anything, but for Phuket gang, we took 1 hour to decide at my place and booked the tickets on the spot! Maybe for this gang, we are more free (actually I seriously doubt so), but I felt that everyone was just super ON and could give definite answers which SOOO sped up our planning process.

Shall hope that the trip materializes, although PPPPPP's concept of overseas trip quite different from mine, I only want to travel to enjoy the spa, massages, beach sun-tanning, swimming, just pure relaxing at a resort while trying exotic food and a bit of sightseeing and shopping! (Completely coincides with Phuket trip agenda!)

However, guess for PPPPPP, the focus is more on shopping? :((( Oh well, I'm very good at compromising!

After all! There is more to life than happiness!

Read an article Hong Wen recommended me over the weekend! Highly recommend everyone to give it a read!

It's funny how I agree with the article rather strongly... Always felt that I should be happy with my life since I have nothing much to complain about but something was always lacking! Guess it's just the lack of meaning in one's life? After all, even with all of us being such unique individuals, what are the chances of us finding our own true meaning in life?

Which is why I've decided to undertake more roles this summer break. Gonna play a more active part in my CCAs! :) And work at the same time! (Although I would kinda miss studying!)

Might even go back to volunteering more! Kinda missed volunteering! (SLIGHTLY!)

Oh, and Hong Wen described me as a hedonistic individual leading a epicurean lifestyle! =P

What else... Oh got traumatized by this freaking flying cockroach while doing project in my room! Made me scream like crazy since it was like attacking me! Luckily for me, I killed it but it got stuck between the light and the wall! (Hard to describe!)

And all the while, I was on Skype and being laughed at by my project mates! Come and fight cockroach la you all! FLYING ONE!

Sent two complaint letters to PGP to resolve the issue! (NEVER GONNA STAY HERE AGAIN!!!)

Went to Robert's room for a sleepover that night since I was just disgusted by the thought of a cockroach above my head! Haha got exposed to funk dance, the history of popping and locking and stuff! Haha rather interesting!!!

Went for an awesome dinner at Poulet at Bugis+ with Tom and Daniel! Those two bitches just couldn't stop complaining about still being hungry!!! When I'm soooo full already!!! (You all still owe me $20 each if you are reading this HAHAHAHA!)

Gorgeous pork belly!!!8


Their Amazing French Roast Chicken!!! HAHA!

Can't believe we went to Laksania to eat again after eating at Poulet! FAT TTM!

Lol Daniel playing the shooting game alone, cause me and Tom died hahaha!!!


Final Group shot!!!

Okay didn't realize that my eyes were closed! But whatever la, lazy to change picture!

Biceps hurt for a few days after playing that throwing game! Hurt more than going to the gym la! Like seriously it was so damn hard!!! Have to throw not just accurately, but also hard enough for the screen to detect LOL.

But still loving this Pokemon gang HAHA!!! (Now gotta finish this blog post fast since they are rushing me to watch latest episode of walking dead!!!)

Had supper at Bedok 85 next!!! With Candice and Hong Wen!!! Super last minute la!!! Was trying to finalize the overseas plan, but well we discussed till 4am at my place but nothing's confirmed yet!


Saturday night had me rushing to Airport to eat Astons! Food was too lousy I didn't even bother to IG!

Anyways, had an awesome drinking session with the Gooloodoons/Phuket gang HAHA!!! Just wanna say you guys are awesome! It was a really meaningful HTHT session! :)

And my mum scolded me for drinking her Martell HAHAH!!! And lectured me about drinking alcohol with green tea and that I would get diabetes easily! Oh well, guess I can only drink shots in the future!


Last update, since those two bitches are still rushing me!

Went shopping at Orchard alone, and bought 3 T-shirts at Topman, and got a hoodie for free using the F3 Promotion!!! 500 points for $50 voucher!!! (It's 100 points for $10 voucher but maximum up to $50!)

Went for a quick haircut followed by rushing to school!

Lastly, got traumatized when I opened my PGP door and a small lizard attacked me! (Okay not attacked, just ran past me!)

Had to use the mop to get rid of it!!! PHEW!!!

Okay hope I didn't miss anything out!

Be optimistic all! And go read that damn article! It's really meaningful and good! Lazy to explain!!!

P.S. Two songs I highly recommend!!!

Collide is a bit old, but still AWESOME! =P

Monday, March 18, 2013

Nothing much going on!

Attempted to make this title interesting by putting an ! at the end, but don't think it's really working!

And so, as much as I would like to blog something about my life, there's really nothing much going on! I don't exactly feel jaded per se, but life is kinda stagnant in a sense?

Not really a surprise though, after awhile, this whole university life and it's curriculum just forces one to dictate what to do for every single free instances. It's week 9 now which means exactly 5 more weeks to finals! And that means... I'm not gonna start studying every chapter in depth till next week or the week after!

One thing I've learnt so far, early effort doesn't really pay off! After all, even if my memory is really good, things I've absorbed intensely does not come easily to me after around a month? Especially for memory work, best to start 2-3 weeks before and the week before the exam...  absorb everything intensely!

Or maybe I'm just giving myself an excuse to slack! Just like how I'm blogging right now! =P Oh well 30 more minutes before the dryer is done drying my laundry, so I shall just slack till then before embarking to complete my gem2901 project!

Although some idiot's comment on piratebay really ticked me off. Basically that person posted a huge spoiler, and everyone have no idea whether it's real or fake. All we know is everyone started bashing him in subsequent comments!

First, I don't ever get how people fail to understand that spoilers are the most horrible thing you can give a series addict! The building up of the scene till the climax where the most epic things happen, be it a major plot twist or character development, these are the things that define a show! Why can't people understand that by giving a spoiler, no matter how minor, you tweak a person's expectations and totally destroy the efforts by the director and scriptwriters to induce a state of epicness in the viewers.

Second, I don't understand how there are actually quite a few people out there who don't mind spoilers?! All I can say is I don't think they respect the show at all! (Cheh.) How can you appreciate a show if you watch it after knowing what's going to happen?! The dynamic is completely destroyed can!

So to all the people out there who post spoilers, please DO warn viewers ahead of the spoilers! And for goodness sake, you don't have to spoil everyone on the social media by posting the spoiler immediately during or after the show? It's perfectly fine for viewers in America who are watching the show live, but for viewers overseas, can everyone please not spoil the show by tweeting about it within 3 days of the latest episode?!!! Many of us might not have had the opportunity to start watching yet! -_-|||

If you spoil after 3-4 days, at least try not to make it so obvious! Main reason why I avoid all social media platforms the moment there's a latest episode! 9gag was fun till people started posting spoilers! -_- Hello! There are people overseas viewing this post and haven't watched the latest episode?!

Oops, without realizing, I bitched quite a few paragraphs about idiots who post spoilers! Just like how stupid Yong Ze whatsapp-ed me a walking dead spoiler! Lucky for him, I misinterpreted the spoiler and managed to watch the show happily while thinking of a wrong spoiler!

Can't believe I still have a test on Thursday and I'm like chilling now. And a project due Monday! But oh well, can't complain when I have other friends who are sleeping a few hours every night just to finish up projects and assignments! Makes me sound like an asshole for saying I need and do get 9 hours of sleep every night LOL.

Quite happy that this semester feels more relaxed compared to last semester, at least I know for sure I could understand what I was taught!!! Unlike crazy maths and bio stuff last semester! o.O

Feel like booking a massage this weekend, hope I'm not pampering myself too much! Trying to psycho myself to study more but it's not working well AHAHA!

Had a crazy lecture on game theory just now and I took really quite awhile to finally get the concept, albeit not fully!

Completed Fire Emblem : Awakening on my 3DS! LOL while everybody is working hard, I spent more than 20 hours of gameplay on it! But seriously, I don't believe everyone is working hard 24/7! It's impossible to not even be able to go out for 1-2 hours?! Am I the only one who slacks on youtube, manga, blog-surfing, facebook, twitter, instagram before studying?! SERIOUSLY DOUBT SO!

Get the alone time needed though, but still!!! Not even a few hours per week?!

Was discussing about career with Tom, Daniel and Li Jie at Macs just now and really made me wonder if I should go for masters without taking honors! Oh well, shall see how it goes!

And still wondering if SEP would come to fruition but honestly hope so!!! Or secretly I hope not so I can save more money! Haha conflicted!!!

Really wanna have an overseas trip during the holidays though!!! =P SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE IT COME TRUE I'M SICK OF PLANNING!

Okay time for pictures and to go collect my laundry!

Nom nom with Abra at Vivo!!!

Zi Xiang's belated birthday present from UK! Haha ignore the words on the card!!!

Niceeee ice cream from St. Marcs!

Nephews, Lucas and Lincoln, bringing them out on a HOT, SUNNY, Saturday afternoon to the playground to chill! Don't understand how they managed to even play under the hot sun! -_-||| (Trying to be a nice uncle!)

All I can say is Lincoln is bad at smiling nicely, so I have to ask him to stop smiling!

Signing off with 2 songs I highly recommend listening to this week! Songs that are sad give me the strength to move on!


Just spend a maximum of 8 minutes on them! That will be a 8 minute one won't regret!!! =D

Alright! Signing off then!

Be optimistic all!!! =D

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Mid-terms almost over! Should be enjoying life! Or not? And DEFENDING LORI FROM THE WALKING DEAD!!

Cannot believe my last blog post was more than a month ago! And so much has happened since then!

Okay, I know I said so much has happened but I honestly have no recollection of what happened exactly! All I can say is I've been studying a lot, sleeping a lot, and going out with friends a lot!

And so as usual, I shall refer to my Instagram photos to remind me of what I've done in the past month!

So while I'm waiting for instaport to import all my IG photos onto my com, let's see!

Most recently, just had another drinking/supper session with Candice and Justus at Justus's place! Guess this is like a usual Friday hangout thing. Followed by a crazy mahjong session with army pals last night where I kept losing more and more money! What are the chances of seeing more than 3 Hua Hus in a night! Pui pui pui!

Fortunately, I was splitting my losings with Yong Ze so I didn't lose that badly! Phew! Haha!

And I finally cleared most of my mid terms! Guess I did average/above average for most of them! Got so pissed off at BioPsych though! So much efforts for naught! At the end of the day, everything was from lecture notes solely, so why did I put in so much effort for the textbook! I want my recess week back!!!

And to think I spent a day memorizing the effects of Cocaine, Amphetamine, Morphine, Hallucinogenic drugs, Nicotine and a lot more and how they work at synapses! Gosh! (Oh well, at least it's practical knowledge!)


Starting off with... Taro!!! Can't wait to meet you and hug you!

Drinking at Candice's!

Pasta while Dining with Abra at a restaurant near PGP! (One day before Social Psych mid-terms!)

Chilling at ECP!!!

Me and Hong Wen! Friends for 14 years!

Wild Honey nom nom with BEECHEES!

Celebrating Jin Tong's 22nd at Itacho with Jin Wen, Ee Chow and Justus!

Lovely monitor lizard at Sungei Buloh Wetland Reserves!

Delicious sushi at Itacho!

Chilling at Timbre with Army Pals!

Band of Brothers!

Awesome pals! Must meet more often!

Saw this on my Dorm's door all of a sudden! #vaporeon And it's POKEMON! Haha my neighbor was a glaceon!

Finally got my 3ds games after mid terms!!! #professorlayton #fireemblem


Haha Commando BMT magazine!!! =D

Just me walking along ECP!

Recently being sent tons of Taro's photos!

Haha loving how he looks so dao and adorable!


AND SOMEHOW, by coincidence... Ending with cute Taro too!

And now for some random rambling, it has been pointed out to me by Abraham that I've been suppressing my emotions so much which is typical of a Type 7 that those emotions are manifesting in my dreams! Haha!!!

And those are mostly emotions of stress and guilt for not studying and instead playing/doing nothing! OR even just pure exam stress!

The most epic dream: Dreamed I had to stab someone to save my life and while stabbing, I literally sat up in real life on my bed with my hands out like a stabbing action. WTH!

I sincerely hope I don't have anything dangerous around my bed, or I might be seriously injure somebody or myself la!

Arrgh, I have so many more 'cool' dreams but I can't remember them all!

Oh and I feel like I'm undergoing some withdrawal symptoms for not studying, like it just feels so wrong to stop studying after weeks of doing so! I wonder if I'm really starting to like studying a lot HAHA!

But I think this happens to everyone right? Like how after exams are over and everyone seems to be stuck in limbo: What am I supposed to do now?

Fun stuffs no longer seem so fun after all!

And while I'm blogging right now, people like Hong Wen and Candice are chiong-ing their projects and FYP so frantically! It makes me wonder why am I so free! o.O


Wanted to have a blog post to argue for Lori on The Walking Dead here but those strong emotions I had have sort of dissipated in the past few weeks! Should have just blogged then!

To summarize:

The writer's opinion is that Lori was a strong and independent character till the very end. True, she might have made some mistakes here and there, but at the end of the day, although some of her actions were not justified in the light of perfect information, we can all agree that they were made under very dire circumstances.

First, how can anyone simply pin most of the blame on her for cheating on Rick in the first season? Let's take a look at the circumstances: A zombie apocalypse, tragic news that her husband passed away, her having to rely on Shane to take care of her and Carl, witnessing the other side of humanity and looking upon the bombing of their last hope which is a safe haven in the form of a city? These were the information we as the audiences have seen, subtle flashbacks, and have we simply chose to ignore these signs?

All these happened in a span of a month, where she had to rely on Shane, her husband's best friend to keep both herself and her son alive. And this was the point where she went into a relationship with Shane, and there goes all the bashing of how she's a slut, how she's unfaithful, how it has only been a month and she so happily cheated on him. Have we forgotten what she's been through, how strong she had to be to keep sane while facing both the zombie apocalypse and the news that her husband passed away? Have we forgotten about Carl, a boy, her son, whom she loved so much, that she could give up everything for him? And yet, we are willing to forsake all these facts to look at how she could have possibly been so willing to go into a relationship with a man, a man who probably saved both mother and son's life not just once, but a few times?

 The emotional turmoil she had to go through just by heading into this relationship is probably unfathomable, but with the world coming to an end, is it really too much to ask for her to find a companion to try to survive in this new harsh world? If Rick had really passed on, would he not hope for her happiness and their continued survival?

For those of us who watched Homeland, this scenario is not an unfamiliar one. The sudden news that one's mate is actually alive, her happiness had to be conflicted with all the guilt of having been unfaithful to him. Yet, have we once again chose to overlook the emotional turmoil Lori had to go through? Looking upon some comments by the audiences, it was all akin to 'Ha. She should not have cheated on him in the first place, Rick was such a good guy!'.

Perhaps this is what we call perceptual salience in Psychology, the seeming importance of information that is the focus of one's attention. Having been exposed to Rick's valiant efforts to come back to his family, having witnessed his courage and bravery, have we all been put under a state where we are so very willing to justify Rick's actions since he's supposed to be the 'good' guy? Have we simply overlooked how each and every single one of us are capable of both good and evil, and can indeed commit mistakes?

Three terms come easily to mind when figuring out why most of us are bashing Lori and condemning her actions, while supporting Rick and his decisions, believing that his actions are always the right ones.

First, Fundamental Attribution Error - the tendency to over-value dispositional or personality-based explanations for the observed behaviors of others while under-valuing situational explanations for those behaviors. Are most of us non-consciously committing this error while judging Lori's actions, the writer's opinion is most definitely yes. 

Second, the Belief in a Just World -  the cognitive bias that human actions eventually yield morally fair and fitting consequences, so that, ultimately, noble actions are duly rewarded and evil actions are duly punished. Having been exposed to the good side of Rick, we expect good things to happen to him, while we expect bad things to happen to Lori for having committed an act of betrayal. To further justify this belief, even during scenes where Lori is portrayed as the victim, we can easily witness the tendency for observers to blame her, the victim, for her suffering.

Third, Cognitive Dissonance, the feeling of discomfort when holding two or more conflicting cognitions. Having been imprinted with the fact that Rick is a good guy and Lori is the opposite for betraying him, we justify Rick's actions even when it conflicts with our beliefs while criticizing Lori's bad actions and ignoring her correct decisions. Have we allowed our need, our desire, to want our expectations to meet reality alter our way of looking at things as they are? Have we been so infused into a state of judging in terms of absolute good and evil that we choose to overlook the fact that we are all in fact in the grey area?

During the season 2 finale, we can see the audiences bashing Lori for condemning Rick's actions for killing Shane when she was the one who told him he was dangerous. She had blamed Rick when his actions are out of self-defense. So what now, was she just supposed to accept the fact that her husband killed his best friend and she was partly responsible for this scenario? This was someone she possibly loved that was killed, if not a lover, a good friend who saved both mother and son's lives. Was she supposed to just take it lightly? Was it really that wrong of her to project that anger onto Rick? After all, her husband had just taken a life, a human life, a friend's life. The amount of guilt she had to undergo for having let her husband go through this coupled with the guilt that she could have prevented this very scenario, all led to her being angry, both at Rick and mostly herself. Is that so hard for us to empathize instead of blaming her for the way things turned out? Are we so easily absolving Rick's responsibility in the way things turned out? Furthermore, this emotional turmoil had to be coupled with the fact that her unborn baby's father could be Shane and the fact that she was responsible for bringing a new baby into the cruel world they're in. Honestly, the amount of turmoil she had to undergo could easily outmatch everyone else in the series.

To conclude, her honest mistake aside, Lori has been a strong and independent woman who carried herself well throughout the series, perhaps more so emotionally that the rest of the cast. Let's take a last look at her last words to Carl:

You are going to beat this world, I know you will. You are smart, and you are strong, and you are so brave, and I love you. You gotta do what's right. It's so easy to do the wrong thing in this world. So, so, if it feels wrong don't do it, alright? If it feels easy don't do it, don't let this world spoil you. You're so good, my sweet boy. Best thing I ever did, and I love you, I love you. My sweet, sweet, boy I love you.

And so, out of the formal tone of this summary... LORI FOR THE WIN! From a proud member of Lori Grimes Fan Club!


And so, all the best for everyone studying out there! Don't forget to catch up on the latest episodes of the good series out there!

TV teaches us so much more if we choose to allow it to. So sick of jokes criticizing dramas on television and asking kids to focus more on  reading books. I participate in both reading and watching dramas, and can honestly say that both are capable of expanding one's mind. Even the most juvenile cartoons have a way of teaching us the ways of life and capable of increasing our emotional quotient, our ability to perceive, understand and manage emotions!

Lastly, a few videos from youtube with soundtracks from Spirited Away that I absolutely adore, and Flower Blooming in the Slums / AKA Aeris's theme from FF7 Advent Children!

Do listen to both!!! Especially when under stress!!! =D


P.S. Bird shit fell between Ee Chow's eyes and his specs while we were walking to the gym and it was just so damn hilarious! LOL!

Wednesday, February 06, 2013

So darn sleepy

Yup, been feeling so darn sleepy for the past few days! Not sure if it's due to the recovery process after last week's flu, but just feeling, so darn tired.

Today, while walking back to my room, and unlocking the door, I subconsciously mumbled to myself: Fk it, I'm not gonna mug today.

And so, YUP here I am after playing 2 rounds of LoL and winning as usual with my awesome Soraka!

Got so much to update here, but I'm too lazy for that too. Guess all I can say is I'm still working hard towards my goals and studying hard! So many projects and assignments to rush!!! Chiong ar!

Hmmm, so what to update, time to use photos to spam! (Photos that stupid Tom and Daniel have been looking through in my phone, mega bitch la!)

Salmon Sashi Don from Watami! Such a long ago photo while eating at Star Mall with Justus!

Our Pot Luck Outing!

Jin Tong's Ox-tail stew!

Thank you Cheryl for letting us mess up your kitchen!

Group shotttt!

Too lazy to invert it, but ya our food. IG have much nicer photos.

Celebrating Justus's birthday! At Ion Monster curry! Uber sad that Abra lost his wallet there! :@

BEECHEE Outing! At... HAHA CANNOT REMEMBER ALREADY! Some mexican restaurant isit! At Clarke Quay! 
Tiramisu with 3rds!!! I mean eating poulet HAHA! But the tiramisu super nice!

Supper at Bedok 85!!!


Strictly Pancakes to celebrate Justus's birthday!!! With PPPPPP without some P who simply said xiong duo ji shao!

And lastly, just a randomly cute dog LOL.

Haha, not sure why my IG photos not imported to my camera roll, but I'm too lazy to bother taking out all my nice photos! Good enough to have them on IG, this place is to blog, not a tumblr or something HAHA!

Oh ya, Tuesdays have not been good days! 2nd tuesday of school, my iphone BOOM! Spoiled and cost $100 to repair. The following tuesday BOOM, all my whatsapp chat history deleted. (Like wtffff!) Then just now... Took train all the way to paya lebar from school, just to find out the my contact lens are too tight for my eyeball. -.- So have to re-order again!!!

ARGH! And I'm so not getting enough exercise, like gymming once per week only la die.

Oh and the saddest thing happened on TVD. Such a good episode but pissed me off so much! How can they let *ahem* DIE?! They better bring him/her back! Which I know most of the cast are returning on the 17th episode! So trying my best not to spoil anything here!

Oh great, it's week 4 already. How is it that time just passes by so quickly. Guess before long, we would all be working, must really cherish this uni period more!

Watched Ah boys to men part 2! And must say it was really good and memorable!

Most memorable point: At one point in time, we were a band of brothers.

People drift apart after all without contact, and I couldn't believe it took me a few minutes to name all my BMT bunk mates, but yes I managed to name every single one of them.

Life was good then, really missed those times. And watching the movie made me realize how much I really appreciate my instructors' efforts. Especially Staff Vig and WO Dennis.

Managed to dig out my BMT magazine and was reading it during Maths lecture where I was assailed by a flood of memories. The good and the tough times... :)

Alright, enough reminiscence. Time to focus on the present more!

Social Psychology has been teaching me a lot too! Argh, but I'm too tired to comment anymore here.

Be optimistic all! :) (Social Psych has pointed out how important being optimistic is! From increased determination and willpower to increase in efficiency. So just be more practical everyone!)

P.S. Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their life a mimicry, their passions a quotation. - Oscar Wilde

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

A different viewpoint

It's curious how I'm blogging now, considering how I'm sick and all. This cold has been haunting me since the day before, or even for months, where I've been having this irritating blocked nose and thus not being able to appreciate food fully.

And yet, this cold has brought me something other than discomfort, and that is the chance to truly take a break and reflect on life lately.

This might seem oddly contradictory to my previous blog post, since I talked about how we should be working so very hard in this semester. However, after two weeks of school, it suddenly occurred to me how infused I am into this rat race without even realizing it.

And as I look upon what I've garnered so far, I must say that the knowledge obtained in the past two weeks have been mediocre at best. Despite my efforts to truly love what I'm learning, I can't help but admit that I've been constraining myself too much, and forcing myself to study ineffectively for far too long.

I used to be able to simply read through my notes once, reflect deeply, and that's it. I've completely absorbed the knowledge required. Lately though, I feel myself glossing through the pages, trying to swallow everything just so I could do well in the exams. It feels like I'm putting more effort into spending more time on mugging instead of focusing on quality mugging.

And I believe I've found out why partially. 

I've always looked upon myself as a practical, independent person. and it truly surprised me how dependent I've become lately. 

First, I've become too dependent on time. As I try to plan my way through reading up on my textbook and doing tutorials, I've been calculating the time needed for each activity. And this is in fact what is ruining me. I love the times in Semester 1 when I could simply head to the TV room, take out my tutorial, and spend hours on it without interruption. Simply cause I loved doing my English Language tutorial so much. (There was even once where I worked till 4am without realizing!) It was the same for Psychology when I simply walked over to the study room at night and just started reading through 1 chapter for so very long. It was those times where there were no restrictions, where I felt the freedom to relax and study that the knowledge retained became permanent.

Lately though, things have not been this way at all. I've been trying to compartmentalize very waking moment to be effective, and yes this could work for others, but definitely not me. What I've failed to realize is that I work best when focused on one thing for hours instead of juggling multiple subjects per night and trying to get the best out of everything. 

Second, I've become too dependent on friends. I know that this isn't a bad thing per se, however, the fact remains that it's better for me to have more time alone. I've been so caught up with going out and meeting up with everyone that I'm starting to feel I'm missing the point of why am I doing so. Am I having outings for the sake of having them? I certainly hope not. I do want an enriched university life, but I'm starting to feel that I'm going about it the wrong way.

The same issue applies to studying with friends. When studying with friends, I can't help but feel that I'm studying for the sake of studying instead of doing it for myself. I certainly hope that I can twitch my mindset when with them since I really like studying together, but if it still doesn't work, I guess more time alone is the way to go. Perhaps the sense of urgency has simply not set in yet, since I can still remember clearly how effective studying at Candice's place was. 

Lastly, before this university life jumped on me, I've been contented having part-time jobs and giving tuition. I truly enjoyed life for what it is. I had a wonderful internship and really learnt a lot. I came into NUS with the expectation that things would get better, that I would be studying what I love for the sake of my career as an Industrial-Organizational Psychologist or even to explore other career options.

However, it often hits me that I've not been living up to my own pre-uni expectations. Perhaps it's not the environment or the circumstances, but me who've changed. I've become too nonchalant and have been simply moving through the motion. My CCAs are definitely taking up some time but they are not engaging me much at all. I miss being in the workforce, I miss having good bosses and colleagues, I miss excelling at what I do and earning at the same time for my contributions. Most of all, I miss the practical skills, the applicable knowledge to the current working world which I so desire and need.

Perhaps it's time to truly buck up and emotionally mature to properly pursue my career paths, get an awesome job I love in the future instead of simply finding a job for the financial interests involved. Which is partially why I opted myself out of Biz/Acc even though I know I would be good at it. 

Yet, at the same time, I truly hope that I can continue to remain optimistic, to appreciate what I already have. After all, it's not the kind of life that matters, but the mindset which you approach life with. 

Be optimistic all. :)